Wake Up Before You Break Down

Why do we stumble blindly on when we feel disaster ahead? Why do we turn away from the evident truths in our lives? All these are extremely relevent questions we should ask ourselves. This is why I'm writing this, in hopes of opening someone else's eyes too what they're doing too themselves before a rude wake up comes.

             Who would think that a pastors son, who was at one point very involved in his church, led a small group, and was a key part in Sunday morning service worship, would be handcuffed on the side of the road, and put into a cop car. Not me, I was in complete shock as I looked out the back window of a cop car. Can this be happening? Did my luck really finally run out? Were my choices finally having consequences? Yes indeed. I instantly began asking God how he could let this happen to me, someone with so much potential if I ever turned my life around. How could he let me ruin so much and lose the fake front I had established of being such a good behaving young man? Maybe too wake me up, to a reality I wasn't before willing to except. I, Josiah Atchley, am a jacked up mess, incapable of good on my own accord.

           Little did I know, that after downing a bottle of Crown Royal, and smoking a joint of spice on my way too Wal Mart, that disaster would strike. As we drove to wal mart, completely messed up on all different forms of substances, me and my friend noticed his increasing inability to drive properly. He decided to pull over into a car lot and park. As he pulled into the space, he pulled in too far and crashed into the building, breaking out a glass pane and scaring all the people inside. At seeing this, he freaked out, not being in a right state of mind,  and threw the car in reverse attempting to escape. He sped in reverse back onto the highway, striking three more vehicles, flying over the median, across three more lanes or traffic, through a ditch, and into a fence. We sat there in astonishment, the whole thing felt surreal. I waited, expecting to wake up from a bad dream, it never happened. I was arrested, and taken to jail on a possession charge. My mind raced on how my game was finally up, how bad my actions and the news of this would hurt my family, and all those who loved and supported me back home. I was ashamed. The earlier question of how could God let this happen, in reality should be a statement, thank God no one was hurt, and I made it out with now injury.

      This is something that could of been avoided so easily, with simply the strength too make the right choices. I had told my Father that very morning that I was going to quit drinking, smoking, and all those sorts of things. I even told my room mates, telling them that I was trying too better myself and get back on the right track. It comes down to this, the idea was presented to go out with one final bang and party it up that night. I told myself yeah, why not. One last time. There is where it all began. NEVER tell yourself one last time, it never works. Truth be told I've lost count on how many times I've spoken those words to myself, "One last time."  in reality, that saying is the same as I'll do it tomorrow, if you allow yourself to say that, then the "one last time" will never come. Don't be a fool and continue in something you know will bring self destruction by telling yourself you'll change someday. It wont happen.   I've changed and relapsed, change and relapsed in and out of the christian lifestyle so many times I've about lost count now. I remember thinking countless times before, when will my time run up, when will all this inconsistency catch up too me. The day had finally come.

           Point in case, wake up! Before you break down. Refuse to continue in a way you know is wrong. Tell yourself, "No, I will not." No more one more times. We all mess up, but there comes a day when second chances run dry, and getting off easy is unrealistic. You do not want to come to this place. With every choice presented you, take time too think where giving into something may lead you. There is no path in life that comes to an end voluntarily, every choice leads to an opportunity too continue farther in a set direction. You choose wrong, and it's easier to choose wrong again the next time. Eventually what your into becomes worse and worse, too the point of you not being able too recognize who you've become. You choose right, and you will lead yourself further and further away from a hard lifestyle full of mistakes and regrets. The beer will never say no, you cant have me anymore, the cigarettes will never say na, not gonna burn today, and the women who have ruined themselves will never stop giving into their insecurities. There comes a time when you yourself must say no. Cut and dry. It would behoove you too begin so as of time now. The sooner the better, wake up! You don't want to end up like me, saying yes, yes, until life decides too stop you itself. I was given ample opportunities for change on a million different occasions, I blew one too many off, and paid a heavy price for it. Listen and heed these words, for it may very well save you from disaster and heartache that lies in wait just around the next decision.

     Good news:  By the grace of God, no matter how many times we fail, all is forgiven and washed clean in the blood of Jesus. By the grace of God and God alone, will we ever stand in this crazy world. The good in this situation is that I came to the end of myself, I realized how messed up I was, and how try thou I may, I could never succeed in changing myself. Finally, I reached out for help, and was received with loving arms,  in spite of my failures and shortcomings. God will give me the strength to make the right choices, even after I had destroyed my own strengths by succumbing too the temptations of this world, He stands in the gap for me. I tried to take on this world in my own strength, and was crushed. Finally I cried out for help and have been rescued. Now, too turn the tides and charge head on at all that had defeated me in the past. I'm told stand strong, follow me and no harm will come too you, but through me, you will destroy all that has ever caused you too stumble. This promise feels my heart with excitement. I'm still very much a work in progress, my story is yet too be completed, and failure, no doubt lays in wait for me. Can I stay strong? Can I deny myself that which I've trained myself too crave? I am full of fear as I proceed forward with my attempt at recovery. Afraid of failing my family yet again, afraid of once again relapsing into my worldly habits, but one must start somewhere, and sometime. There's never a better time than now..... Failure is no longer an option, "one more time" will no longer present itself too me. The braveheart is now beating within me, don't let it die, don't let it die.